Set Free

I recently got back from a mission trip to Jackson, Mississippi, and wow, it just was incredible. There's always the typical high you get from returning from something like a mission trip or retreat, but this is different. God reached down and spoke to my heart in a way He never has before. Not because He didn't ever want to, but because I've been so distracted and just never gave Him the chance. Anyone else struggle with this?

Flash back to a few months ago: I had been so caught up in finishing up my senior year, planning my future, talking to my boyfriend every night, working out and eating perfectly healthy, even distracted with "good" stuff like practicing for the worship band I was a part of. Then suddenly everything just fell apart. My parents announced they were getting divorced completely out of the blue, I broke up with my boyfriend, my two best friends got into a huge fight, etc. Every single thing I had been relying completely fell apart, and I was left with no foundation. At the same time, I was struggling with huge fears and insecurities that completely cut me off from people. I felt like a little girl trapped in a building on fire. The flames kept coming, and I just couldn't handle it anymore. I began to sink lower and lower, hiding behind my enormous walls that kept me trapped. Sin had its hold on me and I was just.. trapped. I was dying for someone to come rescue me and set me free from the hold the enemy had on me.

However, Christ is stronger than my most powerful wall. He broke through and rescued me, and I realized that He is enough. Finally free from all my distractions, I could finally come to Christ as I was: broken and wounded, but finally, truly seeking Him. The Bible says that if you come near to God, He will come near to you, and it's exactly what I experienced. I began to experience God in a powerful and personal way. I began to look forward to waking up early each day and just spending time with Him.

By this time summer had arrived, and I felt God's call to make this summer completely about Him. My biggest desire was to go on a mission trip, but just nothing would work out. Then one day I decided to go with my dad and sisters to this new church in our community. Right away, the pastor began talking about a mission trip they were planning on going on to Mississippi, and I immediately knew it was where I was supposed to go. The only problem was, I didn't really know anyone going on the trip. I'm a pretty shy person at the first, and the idea of going with people I didn't really know to a place I had never seen before completely terrified me. So I had a brilliant idea: I would invite my best friend to come along. I could hang out with her and not have to face my fear. God had a different plan, however, and it turned out that my best friend was unable to go. I had the chance to back out from the trip, but I realized that the trip was not even about me. I was so worried about myself when I was supposed to be following God's call to go serve others.

So, Friday night rolls around and I jump in a car with the pastor's wife and daughter for a twelve hour car ride. (We were actually supposed to drive six hours and stay at an abandoned house over night, but it was really sketchy. Like completely out of one of those horror films where you're screaming at the character not to go in the house.) The next day, as we were getting ready to head out to go minister to people, this dark feeling came over me and completely overwhelmed me. Thoughts like "how dare you go minister to people; you are totally useless. You'll never be able to reach people, so why even try?" filled my mind, and I felt all my old walls come back. I cried out to God and begged Him to free me from my walls and take me completely out of my comfort zone. And guess what, guys? He did! The entire week God just reached out to me and freed me from my fears. That night, a woman preached from John 4 about the woman at the well that Jesus talked to and completely changed. I'll probably write about it more later, but to sum it up, Christ used a prostitute woman that the entire town despised and rejected to reach and bring hundreds of people to Him. The message was such perfect timing that I knew it had to be God.

The rest of the week I got so many opportunities to just minister to people in the area and pray out loud with them. Before this week, I had been absolutely terrified to pray out loud in front of people. Like, "oh my goodness, what if I say the wrong thing, or sound stupid, and I could never pray like him.." I don't know if any of you guys struggle with this, but I promise God hears your prayers no matter how "good" they sound. Sometimes the simplest prayers are the most powerful. I saw people's walls breaking down after praying with them, and I realized God was using me. He was using me to help set others free.

This is why Christ came: to set us free. God does not want us to live a life ruled by fear. He wants to set us free so that we can spread His powerful, amazing love. I will no longer live a life hidden behind walls. I will no longer give in to the enemy, and the fears and sin he tries to enslave us with. It's time we give ourselves completely over to God to live in the freedom of His grace.

"I know that the LORD is always with me. I will not be shaken for He is right beside me."
-Psalm 16:8

"So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to Him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death."
-Romans 8:1-2

You have been set free. Trust in God and He will rescue you from any fear, from any wall. Just writing this blog entry and sharing my story was something I would never be able to do in the past, for fear of judgment and fears about what people will think. But none of that matters now. I am set free, praise God! And I pray that whoever you are that's reading this right now, will find the same freedom. I promise that God is right there and loves you with an unfailing, eternal love. Go to Him and experience His freedom!

In Christ's love,
Rebekah